Brooke (weaseldance) wrote,

why do i even post in this thing anymore?

I was looking through ahold e-mail thread from 2010 in an attempt to recover some song lyrics I misplaced. That tends to be the initiating factor of those hunts. In the process, I found an old e-mail from Blessing, because my 18 year old life was polluted with those. It leaked manipulative words and I’m amazed at how much I’ve grown since then. I was a feeble, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed 18 year old girl whose heart was in the right place. I was not weak but I thought I was. The part that stood out to me though was the content of the words I sent to you back then. They were the most genuine of anything I sent anyone. It confirms to me that I am not remembering that era of my life incorrectly: the era during which I decided to let you in and trust you. Even then, when I was learning that I had a voice and that I wasn’t worthless, you inspired something strong and bold in me. You brought out a side in me with which I am now very familiar, but I then was not at all.
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